So, I have learned a couple of things about myself in trying to create and maintain a blog. (This is my second attempt at a blog on Blogger, and I think they might revoke my access if I don't start showing some marked improvement soon.) I learned that I really don't like people very much, and I suck at blogging. Ditto for MySpace, and Facebook. (As long as I live I will NEVER understand the appeal of Facebook.) I have tried them, and found them all facile and completely unfulfilling. Perhaps I lack the ego to truly feel the need to express my every inner thought to anyone and everyone willing to read it. "Really? You just had peanut butter celery sticks for a snack? Neato!"
I also discovered that I have no life. Even Stepford wives have more anima that I do. I do....well, nothing. I function on the level of an emergency response system, sitting quietly doing nothing for 95% of the time until I get the signal to spring into action to make dinner or drive my daughter to Lacrosse practice. I no longer have any interests, any hobbies, or any personality. My housework is maintained at the minimal level, and I don't really care. (I used to spaz about people dropping by to chat, thinking I needed better guest towels and fresh cut flowers.)
What the hell happened to my life? Where did I go? I don't FEEL like me, in fact, I don't feel like anybody. I wish I could say my post was part of an elaborate April Fool's Day prank, but I can't. It just is me, trying to find the me that isn't.... Maybe if I force myself at pen-point to sit down and post every day I'll find myself in here somewhere. That is, if there is anything left of me to find.
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